Monday, July 30, 2007

Missing Home

I have been in India for over a month, marking the most time I have been away from home for as long as I can remember, likely for the longest period in my life (I don't count college because the Bay Area is like home since I grew up there partially). The other day it caught up to me and I started feeling homesick.

I miss my house, miss my room. I miss riding my bike and listening to NPR. I miss driving up to the city or Fremont to meet up with friends and family. I miss restaurants like Tofu House and all the burrito spots I frequent. I miss cooking spaghetti and garden burgers, and going to In'N'Out when I have no other food options. I miss going to the Opportunity Center and hanging out with my people. I miss giving nods and smiles to friendly faces on the street. I miss dinners and hikes with Greg, miss watching TV and cracking jokes with Jo and Yoric. I miss going home to Sac to hang out with my parents whenever I like. I miss my gym terribly.

I miss the feelings of Palo Alto... the weather, the vibe of the people, the trees, the roads, all so nicely manicured. I miss coming into my school's campus on my bike and feeling lucky that I'm getting paid to get a degree from this place. I miss broadband in plentiful supply.

Of course I miss my friends and family, but strangely not as much as I miss just the feeling of being home. I think it's because I'm still in touch with most everyone I normally am with, and in roughly the same capacity and with roughly the same frequency. Technology is amazing.

At the same time that I miss home, I also know that once I leave this place, I'll miss it terribly. In fact, even from here I know that after a week of being home I'll wonder why the hell I was so homesick. There is that sort of natural tendency to long for a place or situation that is unreachable (grass is always greener phenomenon).

But one thing I know is that I love Northern California. When I talk to people here about where I'm from, I tell them California is the best place on Earth. Usually I rip on my country's president, foreign policies, and other deficiencies along with them, but I would never go against my home state/region. I tell that to Kapilbhai all the time... this place is great, but there's something about your birthplace that makes you feel a special attachment. It's bound to happen if you've stayed in the same area your whole life as I have. I was describing it to Raju as "the familiarity... the nuances" that come from knowing a place really well. It's something that I think will get in the way of me ever considering another place home. For me there's only one. At least for now.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. hey neil. i can understand that feeling, and more importantly- you hit it on the nose, that after you come back you will be thinking why did i feel so homesick. but enjoy your days there, i'm sure you will.

  3. Tofu House misses you too.
    - Tofu House

  4. Neil,

    the only way to not miss home is to take it wherever you go. Make sure you bring some of Baroda home with you.

  5. simply and purely...i miss you! :)

  6. missing.. shcmissing.. quit your whining and keep trucking!

    haha... j/k buddy.