Missing Home

I have been in India for over a month, marking the most time I have been away from home for as long as I can remember, likely for the longest period in my life (I don't count college because the Bay Area is like home since I grew up there partially). The other day it caught up to me and I started feeling homesick.

I miss my house, miss my room. I miss riding my bike and listening to NPR. I miss driving up to the city or Fremont to meet up with friends and family. I miss restaurants like Tofu House and all the burrito spots I frequent. I miss cooking spaghetti and garden burgers, and going to In'N'Out when I have no other food options. I miss going to the Opportunity Center and hanging out with my people. I miss giving nods and smiles to friendly faces on the street. I miss dinners and hikes with Greg, miss watching TV and cracking jokes with Jo and Yoric. I miss going home to Sac to hang out with my parents whenever I like. I miss my gym terribly.

I miss the feelings of Palo Alto... the weather, the vibe of the people, the trees, the roads, all so nicely manicured. I miss coming into my school's campus on my bike and feeling lucky that I'm getting paid to get a degree from this place. I miss broadband in plentiful supply.

Of course I miss my friends and family, but strangely not as much as I miss just the feeling of being home. I think it's because I'm still in touch with most everyone I normally am with, and in roughly the same capacity and with roughly the same frequency. Technology is amazing.

At the same time that I miss home, I also know that once I leave this place, I'll miss it terribly. In fact, even from here I know that after a week of being home I'll wonder why the hell I was so homesick. There is that sort of natural tendency to long for a place or situation that is unreachable (grass is always greener phenomenon).

But one thing I know is that I love Northern California. When I talk to people here about where I'm from, I tell them California is the best place on Earth. Usually I rip on my country's president, foreign policies, and other deficiencies along with them, but I would never go against my home state/region. I tell that to Kapilbhai all the time... this place is great, but there's something about your birthplace that makes you feel a special attachment. It's bound to happen if you've stayed in the same area your whole life as I have. I was describing it to Raju as "the familiarity... the nuances" that come from knowing a place really well. It's something that I think will get in the way of me ever considering another place home. For me there's only one. At least for now.