Andria's Drive

Couple months back, out of the blue I was copied into an email thread between Vandana didi and a girl I had never heard of named Andria Caruso. Andria was from the US and had organized a clothing drive in her community for our football program. Details were vague, and since I had no idea who Andria was and wasn't aware of this clothing drive, I was a little skeptical about the whole thing. What could a single random girl with no tangible connection or communication with the soccer program actually do? But I got in touch with Andria in deference to the golden rule of MS: shut up and accept that there are magical connections you can't see or know.

One day Andria mails me with a long list of items she had gathered through her clothing drive. Here's the snippet directly from her email:

WHITE JERSEYS:
33 Medium
11 Large (wears small)
1 X-Large

NAVY JERSEYS:
34 Medium
17 Large
1 X-Large

NAVY SHORTS:
22 Small
29 Medium
19 Large
23 X-Large (You may not want all of these)
Also, there were some shorts where I could not read the size.  There were 25 of these.

NAVY SOCCER SWEATSHIRTS:
unfortunately, these are rather large.
4 Larges
5 X-Larges
1 XX-Large

NAVY TRACK SWEATPANTS:
9 Small
2 Medium
5 Large
3 X-Large

VOLLEYBALL SWEATS:
Pants:
2 Small
7 Medium
3 Large
1 X-Large
Jackets:
2 Medium
1 Large
8 X-Large

NAVY SWEATS (LIGHT MATERIAL)-wear small
Jackets:
4 Small
9 Medium
3 Large
4 X-Large
Pants:
3 Small
5 Medium
6 Large
2 X-Large

SHINY GOLD TANKTOPS: (Cheerleading)
4 Small
7 Medium
5 Large
2 X-Large (I am assuming these are too big)

CHEERLEADING NAVY PANTS:
5 Small
6 Medium
3 Large

WHITE BASKETBALL SHORTS: (RATHER LONG)
4 large

CHEERLEADING ITEMS:
10 longsleeve cheerleading tops (sizes are in numbers)
5 navy cheerleading tank tops
1 white cheerleading tank top
1 small jacket
2 men's tops
6 skirts (sizes are in numbers once again)
1 set of skirt + tank top

CLEATS:  (all in men's sizes)
7 Pairs- sizes: 10.5, 9.5, 4.5 (youth), 4 (youth), 3 (youth), 8.5, 11
INDOOR CLEATS:
3 Pairs- sizes 3.5 (youth), 4 (youth), 11
1 Pair of Tennis Shoes- size 5 (youth)
1 Pair of regular shoes- size 5

SOCCER SOCKS:
40 pairs

RANDOM:
2 DCDS Under Armor T-Shirts

The following are items I collected from family's of my school.  The items are either gently used or new.  The sizes range from young children to teenagers.
10 Jerseys
5 Shinguards
15 Soccer Shorts
15 Soccer T-Shirts
1 Soccer Warm-Up Jacket
1 Pair of Sweatpants (light material)

I also was able to collect some clothes for younger children.
16 T-Shirts
3 Dresses
1 Jersey + Short
9 Shorts
6 Outfits

I was shocked. So much stuff! From one person across the world! The thing that struck me was the combination of the sheer amount of stuff gathered and how unexpected and unlikely it was.

Andria arranged to ship four boxes of the equipment to us last month, mostly soccer jerseys and shorts. The boxes came neatly taped and the clothes carefully folded and organized into ziplock bags. The kids went wild:


We distributed one jersey and shorts combo to each of the players. For some, the fit wasn't great. But everyone was smiles. These kids were previously playing with barely one outfit, and they were running those clothes ragged.

Yesterday I finally got in touch with Andria over the phone to get the full story. Andria is a freshman at the University of Michigan. She is interested in studying medicine to be a doctor so she can work in underprivileged countries, perhaps India or somewhere in Africa. Her sister Julia had volunteered with MS in the slum community last summer and connected her with Vandana didi. Andria asked how she could help. In general she has a passion for service, and was a member of the community service club at her high school. Vandana didi gave some options. Andria liked the soccer program because she plays herself and doing a clothing drive at her school was already on her mind. She knew they had so much gently used equipment just lying around, and there was a group already starting one up, so it was a no-brainer.

The clothing drive lasted 2 weeks. She set up boxes in three local schools, and then stuff started coming in. Focussed on procuring athletic equipment, she talked to her school's sports equipment manager who was more than happy to send over soccer jerseys and shorts that were left over and unused from last season.

When I talked with her, Andria was very humble about what she was doing. I was really inspired that she decided to do something in such a generous and anonymous way. Lot of people do service for the recognition or pat on the back or more. Andria had never met our children, nor even been to India. It was reasonable for her to believe that her contribution would largely go unrecognized in India and back in the US. But she acted anyway out of the kindness of her heart and genuine desire to make the children smile. Consider that mission accomplished. Here's what the kids had to say:


 
Our football program continues to grow stronger week by week. The children are improving so much and their love for the game has gotten deep. Last week we watched a match between Manchester City and Real Madrid. The match didn't have a goal for the majority of the game, but 5 goals came in the last 20 minutes. Whereas even a few months ago the boys would get restless watching such a match, waiting for "action", this time they patiently watched and appreciated the fundamental aspects of the game: spacing, passing, communication. Recently we introduced the concept of triangle passing and its fundamental role in possession play. Now they pointed out triangles forming everywhere on the field. They don't need a goal to enjoy what they are seeing. This is real maturity in how they relate to the game.

We also had some first-time children join practice last week, and the difference between them and our veteran players is stark. They have improved so much, I didn't even realize it till I saw them along side the first-timers. Being reminded of where they started, having no experience whatsoever with the game, learning from scratch, to where they are now, it made me so proud.

All the credit goes to Rahulbhai and the other coaches, who have committed so strongly to these kids and the game. It's a real joy for me to be a part of.

One challenge we continue to face is space for practice. These kids badly need an open grass ground where they can properly play. The Ashramshalla can no longer support their growing skills. They need open space to play the game fully, to shoot, make long passes, and run in open space. Right now the space is literally holding down their wings in developing those aspects of the game that require a full field. Last week Rahulbhai informed me that the Ashram has even sent a written request that the children are not to play beyond the immediate area from Manav Sadhna. So even as our program grows, our space to play shrinks. This is a huge concern.

We are trying to resolve this issue by transporting the kids to Kahaani, but that has grown difficult as we often are unable to get the MS bus to take us. The permanent solution is to set up a ground dedicated to football locally near the ashram. This was the original vision of Football Action, but the timing wasn't right then. Now it is clear that we need a space. This would take significant effort and money, so we will need help.

I was talking to Andria about raising additional funds for some immediate needs for the children: shoes (some are still without, others have worn theirs down to nubs after playing on dirt), balls (we only have a few, and are always in danger of losing them due to poor fields), and medical supplies (these kids play hard, and do get injured). But longer term, we will need the field, and we should look to raise funds for that.

Good news is that these kids are locked in and committed. I love that we don't have to ask them to play; they have developed their own passion for the game, they play because they love it. We have practice every Sunday, but most of the kids play on their own every day. And not just games, they actually run drills we do in Sunday practice. Commitment to improving their skills. At the end of our 5-6 hour Sunday practice they are still begging to play another match. The kids that come from Jamalpur, a slum on the other side of the city, wake up at 4am every Sunday morning to catch a bus by 5 that gets them to Ashram by 6 for 6:30am practice start. It's just incredible dedication.

That's what keeps me and the other coaches going for these kids. Not being able to let them play on a proper pitch regularly is what's really burning me at the moment. Every week that we aren't able to let these kids practice the way the need is a loss in my eyes and heart.

But of course we look to the MS golden rule: shut up, jump, and trust the universe to provide the (soccer) net.

Facebook Restaurant

For the most part, India has no qualms about infringing on copyrights and stepping on trademarks. The vibrant pirated software market is one example. It's normal to go to a store and ask for "pirated" software, movies, and video games. It's its own genre.

The newly opened Facebook restaurant is another example. At this point you're probably asking yourself, what does FB have to do with dining? Is the food mostly blue in color? Is it mindless and shallow in nature? Is there a Like button on the plates? When you browse the menu, will you get sucked into staring at photo after photo of sizzlers and frankies for an hour? When you order french fries, will you unknowingly also be served a burger, milkshake, and other items you didn't opt into? When your bill reaches your table, will the amount immediately decrease by 50% (that one was for Jay)?

These are the kind of questions we wanted to answer on our trip to Facebook Restaurant.


The best thing about the restaurant was the decor. The lobby and main dining hall had FB profiles and widgets painted on them. The furniture was white and there were blue accents. The napkins had "Facebook Restaurant" printed on them. The front counter appropriately had a "Wall" with people's comments about the restaurant. They were clearly looking to milk the gimmick for all it's worth. And they did a pretty good job with that.

Not surprisingly, the food was mediocre at best. I will never go to Facebook restaurant again. But of course they got me into the place out of intrigue and curiosity. It's not a bad plan, but I expect the restaurant to be out of business within 6 months. Like its namesake, sizzle over steak is not a long-term viable business model.

What Is True?

Last week, my cook Aartiben told me she had a problem. As a part of Janmashtami holiday, she would be holding a morning pooja at her house the day before, so she would have to come to work later. The problem was that as per her community's tradition, for that entire day she was not to prepare any cooked food, either for herself or for others. So she could come to work, but she wouldn't be able to go near the cooking flame or actually cook the food. I hadn't heard of the tradition before, so found it a bit bizarre. But I told her I wouldn't mind helping her out that day to cook the food if she prepped, or even giving her the day off. But the problem was that MAM (who she also cooks for) was coming back from a long trip that morning, and they would be tired and hungry and needing support for Reva.

Aartiben was very conflicted. On one hand she wanted to do her job and come to work especially on this day when MAM would need help at home, but she was scared and worried about the consequences of going against her tradition. She said a year earlier when she didn't follow it, a spirit entered her and her son Akash as a result. It was scary, and she didn't want to upset the gods once again. She was really worried and confused, and we went back and forth thinking about workarounds. But we couldn't, and in the end she said she'd come cook for us as usual.

That morning she was noticeably jittery and nervous as she did her work. She burned the potatoes and was shaking. Madhu and Meghna assured her that it would be fine. God would not punish her for doing her job, in fact God would give her double bonus blessings. Like that she managed through the day.

Then that night Madhu got a call from Aartiben, who was hysterical. Akash had a high fever, and it had gone to his brain. He was unconscious and having fits. Madhu rushed over to the hospital, where the doctor was himself overwhelmed and confused. He gave Akash a cocktail of antibiotics and other things, hoping something would fix him. Figuring that medicines don't work that way, Madhu brought Akash's blood to a trusted doctor who prescribed a medicine. After taking that Akash regained consciousness and stabilized. Later based on his symptoms it seemed that Akash had gotten malaria.

These are the facts. But they can be interpreted into different versions of the truth. From Aartiben's perspective, it's easy to suspect that cooking that day and Akash's falling ill were related. That whole day she had a bad feeling, and something like this had happened last year. And once her community finds out they would definitely reinforce that interpretation.

My interpretation of the facts is that one event wasn't the cause of the other; they were an unfortunate coincidence. Millions of people don't follow Aartiben's tradition, and nothing happens to them. Meghna said that when she was a child, her mother followed the same tradition. Then at some point, she stopped. But after she stopped nothing bad happened to Meghna.

Also, I have a strong believe in the power of the mind to affect our physical reality. Aartiben had it in her mind that something bad was going to happen that day. She had a whole lot of fear, and there is little doubt that it transferred to Akash. Anyone who has seriously meditated knows the deeply interwoven relationship between the thoughts we think and our gross physical reality. If you are in a fragile state of mind or full of fear, you make your body weak and susceptible. Did Aartiben cause this situation? No, that would be going way too far. Did Aartiben's (and by extension Akash's) state of mind contribute to his falling ill? Put another way, was he less likely to have fallen ill had he not been full of fear? IMHO, definitely yes.

Believing that the two events are related reveals the anatomy of a superstition. First, a community or sect believes something to be true. Next, through the power of their own thoughts they increase the likelihood of the belief to manifest. They bend reality to make their belief a reality. When it happens, it reinforces the original belief for themselves and the others in the community. Because of the network effect, the belief can snowball exponentially, like a contagion.

Both of these interpretations of the facts are just that: interpretations. There is no way to prove that my interpretation is more correct than Aartiben's. I don't even believe that to be true. To me, both interpretations are true. Aartiben's to Aartiben, mine to me. The truth is relative. In Aartiben's truth, her traditional belief held. In my truth, her truth became true because she believed it to be true. So it actually is true!

There is no problem with holding multiple truths for the same reality, even if they contradict. Each and every person has their own personal truth. Let it be. They will diverge, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. The problem comes when we can't accept the divergence, and try to impose our truth on others.

When someone challenges your truth, it is like they are challenging your identity (in a way they are). The reactionary instinct is to resist and retaliate as a self-preservation mechanism. What's better?

If we either a) do not challenge, but accept; and/or b) do not resist.

Ode To Ba

Two days ago my grandmother fell down. Doing her normal morning routine, Ba was out front in the patio area of her house, reaching up for something near the porch steps when she lost her balance. She tumbled down the stairs, banging her head and fracturing her wrist. The head injury opened up a gash over her eyebrow. Jay was home when it happened. He called me while I was at Sunday morning soccer practice. When I got over Ba was laying on her couch, hand wrapped and eyebrow covered with cotton. Her nightgown, which she was still wearing, had blood stains from her gash. Some of the neighborhood Bas were over, helping out and deliberating over what to do. They had told Jay to call the local doctor, Dr. Chetan, who had an office just down the road. He was the only local doctor open on Sunday. But he was notoriously hard to get for a visit. One Ba complained that it takes 4-5 calls to get him to come over, even in an emergency. Jay had already called him an hour ago, and still no sign. I called him myself and he said he would come but sounded unconvincing, saying he was dealing with some other patients. What's up with this quack, we have an emergency here! At the Bas suggestion, I went over to fetch him myself. What I saw wasn't what I expected.

Dr. Chetan's office was a zoo. There were patients spilling out from the waiting area to the street. Babies, old people, other sufferers. Behind the waiting room was his desk and a couple beds crammed into a small area. There were a couple sickly people laying out with IVs connected. Then there were all these people huddled around his desk, not waiting their turn. And here was this doctor in the middle of the chaos with a relatively cheerful demeanor dealing with patients in rapid fire format. Walking into this scene, my feeling for Dr. Chetan went from annoyance and frustration to sympathy. How could he see Ba with all these sick people crowding him for help? But somehow he got away with us to go see Ba. He took one look at her hand and said it was a fracture, and gave a name of a local orthopedist that was open. He said they would stitch up her eye there as well. And just like that he left back for his office.

We took Ba to the orthopedist where the fracture was confirmed and she was given a plaster (cast) and her eye was stitched. By that point Chiragbhai had come over to help situate Ba and navigate dealing with the doctor. Narendra also came to take Ba back home.

There are several things I would like to remember about this incident. First and foremost is the demeanor of Ba throughout the ordeal. My grandmother is one strong woman. Real strong. From the time I saw her laid out at home, no doctor in sight with a fractured hand and swollen eye, to the time she came back from the hospital dirty and exhausted, there was not one complaint from her mouth. Clearly she was in pain and discomfort, especially moving her around with sometimes limited regard for the state of her hand. But not a word from her. My Ba is a stubborn person, which sometimes makes it hard to deal with her. But in this case her stubborn nature showed its positive side. She was just determined and tough as nails. On the way home from the hospital, the painkillers got the best of her and Narendra had to pull over to let her vomit on the side of the road. She did so for about a minute, letting it out calmly. It was getting on her gown, so she carefully folded it away and continued to vomit. I just sat behind her rubbing her back, watching her. When she finished, she had a weary look on her face, but she said to drive on. No crying, no confusion, just matter-of-fact action. I was really proud of her at that moment. It made me think of all the ways a person of her age could have reacted to all that had happened: misery, self-pity, complaining. Taking her suffering out on those around her. But this woman kept it all and carried the water on her shoulders. And she did it all from a space of deep dignity, even grace. I could see it in her face all day. It was inspiring.

Later that day whenever visitors would come over, I would bring up how strong Ba was that day. But Ba kept dismissing it. "How else am I supposed to be?" She said this wasn't her first fall, there had been 4 others. In fact, she had broken or fractured each of her four limbs; this was the second time for her left hand. Other Bas that came to visit also talked about their war stories with falls. It made me think that if you live long enough, chances are you are going to suffer a painful fall. Why isn't senior falling given more attention? I think there is a Satyamev Jayate episode somewhere here.

Second thing I'll remember from this incident is how people from my office, Chirag and Narendra, stepped up above and beyond the call of duty to lend a hand. It made me feel good that we have such caring people around us at the office, and also made me think that we are on the right track with our office culture that such action manifested.

Third thing is an ode to Bro. Poor guy was woken up to hear Ba had fallen, and from that moment on the whole day he was under the gun to take responsibility of Ba's care pretty much on his own. And he did a great job with what limited experience he had. I'm so proud of Jay for how much he has adjusted and adapted to life in India, this incident is just another example of how he has taken whatever is thrown at him and stood tall. I said that day that as much as he's learned to live in India in 5 months, it took me 5 years. All the ways he's had to learn and adjust in work and living situation, he's taken it all as well as you can. This day he was getting conflicting advice from people, having to make decisions with limited understanding, all while Ba is sitting there in a fragile state and needing immediate care. To handle that situation and keep his cool, sense of humor, and genuine humility throughout, is remarkable. Watching him really made me proud.

And finally I am grateful that this accident wasn't worse than it was. Ba is going to be in pain and discomfort for a month, but it could have been a lot worse. If she had hurt her leg and been unable to walk, that could have been disastrous. Ba said as she was tumbling she had the wherewithal to keep her legs straight to avoid injury.

It was a real blessing to see the best in two of my family members come to the fore when the moment called for it. Those are some good genetics.

Eurocup and Rising Stars

Recently the Manav Sadhna football program watched the Eurocup final together. The children were very impressed by Spain, their idol team. Watching the match also made them think of and miss Joserra-sir and Jesus-sir, two of their very beloved coaches from Spain. To congratulate them on a clinical victory, the kids put together this tribute video.

Joserra and Jesus, we miss you! Come home soon!



The MS football program is going great. Now with the solid commitment of Rahulbhai and other karyakartas, we have about 40 kids playing regularly. Recently some of the older kids left to focus on studies, so a new batch of ~8 really raw young ones have joined. We practice with all the kids once a week on Sundays, and the individual teams (4 teams from 4 slums) self-organize practices several other days of the week. While this keeps them interested and passionate about the game, one practice a week with a coach isn't enough to take them beyond casual playing. And now we are beyond the point of just teaching them the game. The more committed and skilled players need a way to improve and have new goals to shoot for. Just because I can only give three hours a week doesn't mean that it is enough. The kids need more, and they deserve more.

This Sunday we were at Kahaani grounds, and Manishaben, the coordinator, generously offered to help us step up the program. We will now have three practices a week where our kids get to work with a Kahaani coach. Two practices at MS, and a weekly Sunday morning practice at the Kahaani grounds. We will also collect birth certificates and school documents to start entering our kids in tournaments and try-outs. Even if they don't make it, they will get exposure to better competition on better fields, which will raise their own ceiling. Sometimes I feel that practicing in the narrow dirt area in the Gandhi Ashram has literally and figuratively put a cap on our kids' potential. The space is so small, they can only work on a part of the game. And they only have space to dream small.

There is a nation-wide soccer talent search being put in by Airtel currently, where they will send some of South Asia's promising young footballers to train at Manchester United's academy. The commercials are very catchy, they really fired me up and reminded me of my days.



It would be my dream to have one or more of our kids make it.

Summer in India, in a Nutshell

It's hot!!

Oneness in the Bay

Yesterday a very special performance took place in Berkeley's historic Zellerbach theater. The Ekatva ("Oneness") tour made their Bay Area stop and treated over 1,100 attendees to a heartfelt performance.

I came early to join the 70+ person crew of volunteers who decorated, checked guests in, greeted, helped back stage, and the rest. Originally the call was for 50-60, but in true SS style 70+ pairs of eager hands arrived to help. I was assigned to ticketing team, but there were enough ticket masters so I ended up helping out with crowd control, which ended up mostly being me welcoming people, chatting, and giving lots of hugs to lots of familiar faces. Just my kind of role.


This event really was a clashing of the worlds. The entirety of the ServiceSpace family and much of the Manav Sadhna family in one place. It was surreal seeing many of the most important people in my life in one place. But it was so much fun. Mark, Yoo-mi, Sri, Shwe, surprise appearance by Maddog, Siddharth and Lahar, introducing my parents the Jayeshbhai and Anarben, re-uniting with Nimo, Jayeshbhai and Pancho in the same vicinity, and so much more. Lots of conversations that went the same way, me explaining to confused friends that I live in India and was here for a visit, not the other way around. Missing Meghna and knowing she would have loved every moment of it. Buddy, you and Reva were very much there in spirit.

A highlight of the volunteering experience was meeting JG and his third-graders from Coronado school in Richmond. The Ekatva children had an incredible interaction at the school a few days earlier. The Coronado kids met them at the school entrance and bowed down head and knees on pavement, performing MC Yogi's *entire* Gandhi rap anthem. At the tearful,wrenching end of their time together, both groups had a mad gifting battle where they frantically tore down posters, opened drawers, and emptied pockets trying to scratch together anything they could to gift and out-gift each other. A group of 50+ showed up from the school to watch the performance. The kids were decked out in "Mindful Life Project" t-shirts and were toting hand-made gift bags they had prepared for each of the Ekatva children, complete with name and photo on front. JG, the teacher of these kids, was a soul brother. He told me that the interaction at the school was a moment he had in his heart and had been preparing for his entire life. He instantly resonated with the Ekatva spirit. He said he will be coming to India, and also wants to start Manav Sadhna in Richmond. I told him he is Manav Sadhna. He got it, he knew it. I must have hugged him 10 times that day. At the end of the show I will not forget seeing his lone silhouette in the dark being the first and last to get up and give an enthusiastic standing ovation.

An important thing to know about this show is that it is not a professional-quality dance performance. These kids have been trained extensively and have done the performance many times, but it is not a technically or aesthetically polished performance. If you are expecting to be blown away by the dance, you will be disappointed. But what you will be blown away by, if you can catch it, is the spirit of the children and the message they are carrying through the performance. As Nimo says in the introduction, one in eight human beings in the world live in a slum. These children represent that huge chunk of humanity. They are ambassadors for all of the people in their community in Ahmedabad and all of the slum children around the world. In that way they are extra-ordinary.

The show must be taken in with that context. Understand where these kids come from and the lives they have on a mundane day-to-day basis, how truly hard and unglamorous and dirty and precarious it is. Then absorb the message of oneness and upliftment and hope they emanate with every step, strut, and smile. The dance on stage with bright lights and costumes is just the surface, the real meaning of this show comes from grasping the story behind the story.

If you do that, you will be truly moved. It was a blessing to have Mom and Dad at the show, and I was so happy to hear their reaction afterwards. Dad was beaming with joy and amazement, Mom said the show had her in tears. The totality of the picture was beautiful and inspiring and vivid in their minds and hearts. At dinner afterwards we happily brainstormed how both can play a role with the children when they come to India next.

I've seen the show many times, one of the things I liked about this performance most was Virenbhai's telling of the personal stories of the Karyakartas ("committed mentors/employees"). If you had the patience to listen, his telling of these people's lives is what this show and Manav Sadhna is all about. Their spirit, commitment, and dedication to selfless service. Of course Virenbhai painted a highly rosy glossy picture. These are all human beings, there are flaws and the stories are not really fairy tales. But the Jagatbhai is Manav Sadhna, Bharat is Manav Sadhna. Bringing their stories into the circle added dimensionality to the experience. After the show I used their stories as an anchor to engage my parents about the meaning of this performance. My Dad got it, he said this show should be archived by the U.S. Government as a "national treasure."

I'm sure there were many such seeds planted in people's hearts that day.